Let’s Boycott EVERYTHING


OhMyGod.  YES. We obviously need to boycott things we know nothing about. Damn Starbucks and their need to help out other countries that sell their coffee.  Screw the damn Veterans and homeless GLOBALLY.

So let me get this straight, you want to boycott a company and demand that they hire homeless and Veterans at the same time. So, in the long run, enough people boycott, Starbucks starts laying off and now everyone is out of a job? I cant even comprehend the stupid ass logic in that mess.

Also, I’m not sure everyone understands the hiring process and what exactly it takes to get a job at Starbucks, (or any other damn food service industry that’s hiring, BTW).

The first step is to apply. Yep. It’s that simple. So crazy, right?  Who knew? “What?? I can get a job interview if I apply??”.  But its this very first step that confounds people. You see you cant get a job if you don’t apply for it. Silly, I know, but companies aren’t running around the streets looking for veterans or homeless who may or may not want a job.

However if veterans want a job at Starbucks, they have to apply, just like everyone else.  Do you think that they should let anyone come through the front door, say “I’m a Vet” and BOOM, automatic job? On the plus side to all of this is that Starbucks treats it Veteran partners really well. But no one wants to hear that, they just want to hate and boycott.

It was announced that Howard Schultz was stepping down. He announced that in December. Of course the same people who boycotted think they made a difference. Cute. No. Also when are you going to realize that your boycotts of everything are welcomed by the rest of us.

Not sure if anyone caught that the 10,000 were to be hired GLOBALLY. Do we have an overabundance of American homeless and Veterans abroad somewhere that we are unaware of? Or is it just that people feel the need to be self righteous about shit.

I stay away from those people.







Did. You. Just. Roll. Your. Eyes. At. Me?

We now live in an age where social media rules and people like to be nasty behind a keyboard. Example…me, I’m writing a sarcastic blog because people irritate me.

Anywayihatepeople, sometimes people forget they aren’t behind their keyboard and are just rude to your face. OR maybe they do realize it and are just nasty anyway. Doesn’t really matter because rude is rude, no matter the reason.

As many of you know, smacking rude people is unacceptable behavior and I would get fired.  And I cannot control my WTF face when people get ugly. I try but honestly there is no hiding it.

Lately people have been rolling their eyes at me. Really? If I wont take that shit from my child what makes you think I’m going to tolerate it from you rude people. Also, you better have a damn good reason to roll those eyes at me. Let me check…Ohhhhh, nope. Your reasons are ridiculous.

We’re busy in the morning. The busiest store in our immediate area. Drive thru constantly out to the street, lines inside are always long.  We have 2 ovens and 3 Espresso machines. We do things in order received. So when a man rudely interrupts me while I’m making a drink to “just throw a sandwich in the oven for him”, sorry buddy, aint happening. But, THANKS for the nasty attitude and eye roll.

I, too, think you are so special, however, my food person doesn’t understand your specialness and I would totally get yelled at for putting you in as priority over the people who have been waiting 10 minutes.  Please know I cherish every inch of your awesomeness, but right now you’re a douche so get out of my face.

I also understand that people spend a lot of money on their coffee, so yes I want to get your drink correct. I’m not messing it up on purpose. However, when one of your requests is “extra hot”, then you add cold creamer to it, the coldness of the creamer brings down the temperature.

So, awful lady in drive thru, when I hand you your coffee and you state “I can tell you right now this isn’t extra hot”, I offered to make you a new one.  Instead you chose to roll your eyes at me in disgust. Ok, lets do this….let me pour this in your lap and you can tell me if its hot enough.

Here’s a tip for you “extra hot-ers” out there. We push a button on the machine for an extra hot temp. I, personally, am not in the back with a kettle filling all the cups with extra hot water. Perhaps our thermometer is broken and we are unaware. But being an asshole about it just makes you look mean and we remember you for the next time you come in.

Think on that for a while.




On the Fly

The drive thru gives us a lot of entertainment. Most of us have headsets so we can all hear the customer and help out if need be.  Example: if a customer orders drinks AND food, one person takes the order, one barista starts the drinks and another gets food.

This definitely helps out during our rush hours. We have the before work rush, that’s a couple hours because not everyone starts work at the same time. We have a mini mid-morning rush, that’s the rush after preschool, workouts, etc… Then there’s the lunch, after school, after work crowdy.

We try to move as fast as we can to move our customers through the lines quickly. Inevitably however, it never goes smoothly for very long. Undoubtedly if you’ve ever been thru the drive thru and are stuck there FOREVER, here’s a couple reasons why.

If you see that our line of cars is out to the street, and you choose to get in the line anyway, you have lost all rights to complain about the wait. Obviously we are busy, obviously our drive thru is overwhelmed, get out of your car and go inside.  The line is usually shorter. Also, if you’re going to make life difficult for everyone and demand things that take a little time, go inside.

Dont come thru the drive thru and order a bag of coffee ground into a specific size. It’s kind of time consuming and there are people behind you that just want coffee. It’s rude to those behind you in line.

If a customer brings their own cup and orders coffee, they you get a .10 discount off your drink. Most people come inside to do this. If one does this in the drive thru, we can’t start making the drink until they get to the window and hand us the cup.

When a person spends a lot of time waiting for the line to move, hopefully that by the time they actually get to order, they would have figured out what they wanted. Yeah, that sometimes doesn’t happen. It’s amazing the amount of people who order, get to the window,  get their drinks and order another. That’s when we use the term On The Fly. It means there is someone at the window, and we need the drink ASAP and on the fly.

I’m not sure really where I was going with this  but needless to say, I don’t understand people. Personally I think it’s rude to not be cognizant of others and their time during the rush. If I needed 20 gift cards I wouldn’t ask for that in the drive thru, I would go inside. Am I just too polite for the world I live in. Everyone is always looking out for themselves, never realizing there are people who have lives and didn’t plan on getting stuck behind some lady ordering 5 drinks, then at the window needs another 2.


It’s the black speaker looking thing..

I’m new to working the drive thru window, but not to the drive thru process. I believe that in the year 2016 almost everyone knows how it works, but let me break it down.

You pull your car thru the lane that says DRIVE THRU, there might even be an arrow or sign. There might be a line so you may have to wait. You will come to a menu board, speaker box (box that has holes in it, might look like a speaker), STOP THERE.  You will hear a voice asking for your order. Tell them what you want to order. After you have given your order, the voice will direct you to drive to the window to pay and receive your order.

Pretty simple. Most people get the hang of it. However, there are some who just drive right by and order at the window. Ummmm, that’s not how this works. And to ask me “Oh, did I miss the the speaker?”, then you recognize the process and chose to ignore it.  Do you not like to talk into the box? Are you afraid of it? It makes no sense to me. And yes, I judge you a little because you don’t follow proper protocol. Do the rules apply to everyone BUT you?

I have been to many drive thru in my day. And there is nothing more frustrating than waiting in line forever for your order. This is part of the problem. Another part is some idiot who gets to the speaker and doesn’t know what they want and they ask 50 questions before ordering. Listen, if you wait in line, stare at the menu board and still don’t know what you want, get out of line. You obviously can’t handle the drive thru process. Also, it’s McDonald’s or Chik fil a, how do you not know what you want?

I believe that if people can’t handle a simple drive thru, they shouldn’t be allowed to pick our next president. Seriously, if that is too difficult, I cant trust these people to make good decisions. They obviously are confused about life, need some lessons and need to take a test to prove you’re smart enough to go through a drive thru with confidence.

I will smile and help you, but in my head I think you’re ridiculous. Get yourself together.

Her teachers must love you..

I got to work the early shift this morning. Which means that we were swamped with customers getting their morning caffeine before going to work. Also, did not know this, parents need to get coffee for their kiddos. The reason I don’t know this is because I never ever thought of that. It would never occur to me that my child would need a drink before school.

A woman comes in with her daughter. It’s busy, it’s morning, just trying to keep it moving. She has her daughter, little girl, 9 or 10, order what she wants. She wants a blended drink. Great, I ASSUME, wrongly and without asking, that she wants a creme based not coffee based.

The woman immediately got irate.. “I didn’t say creme based I said coffee based”. OK, I’ll fix that in our system, no problem. I wasn’t fast enough, because she got more and more belligerent about the coffee base. No, lady, I got it. You want your kid caffeinated But, oh no, she wasn’t done. The kid just wanted the blended drink, ordered it, walked away.  When I fixed the drink in our system, then the mom started again. She wants that with whipped cream BLENDED IN, she wants that BLENDED 3TIMES. She wants caramel drizzle in a CIRCLE AROUND THE TOP AND NOT IN THE MIDDLE.  What??

You’re kid is like 10. She just wanted a simple drink. You just added all that bullshit for no reason. Your daughter can’t tell the difference. WTF. You are just being a pain about her CAFFEINATE, SUGARY beverage. Now you’re sending her off to school all hopped up on crap. Her teachers must appreciate the fact you’re keeping your daughter hydrated in the morning.

Kids naturally have endless energy. Adults want to bottle that shit because we’re tired all the time.

I am not a perfect parent. And I want my daughter to grow up a strong, independent woman. But if I belittle a batista at a coffee shop, what exactly am I teaching her? That service workers are beneath us? That it’s fun to pull power trips on people, even if it is small and petty? If I heard my kid make up some bullshit nonsense of an order like that, she would get no coffee. No one is entitled to be ridiculous at other people’s expenses.

That lady stood at the end of the bard to make sure that the drink was made EXACTLY how she wanted. And reiterated it several times. We got it. You’re all powerful, we’re lowly servants. Thank you for your patronage.


So I got a job…

So I got a job at a local coffee shop about a month ago.  Just in time for the Pumpkin Spice Spasticity  of 2016, then comes Peppermint Mocha Madness. Holidays are coming and I get to make your coffee. I just haven’t learned yet.

A little bit about meeeee. Gonna warn ya straight off, I’m inappropriate and offensive at times.  I’m sarcastic about everything. Yet I always try to see funny in most situations.  What I find funny is not always normal.  I have a weird view on things.  Makes life a little more interesting.

I’m letting you know this first, because I understand people get offended easily and I want to avoid hate. However, I’m just doing this for me, I don’t expect anyone to actually read it, so I’m not overly concerned.

I have been married for almost 18 years and I have a beautiful teenage daughter.  Neither of whom drink coffee.  Which saves me a lot of money in coffee.

This little blog is about my daily interesting encounters with my customers. Some are wonderful, some are indifferent, some are obnoxious, it’s different every day. But surely everyone wants my thoughts on it, right?

Today Im going to tell you about NO.  I’m not sure that people understand that we put names on your drink so we can make it for YOU, not someone else who decides your drink sounds better and runs off with it, leaving you with no coffee and waiting for a coffee we already made and is gone.  Same with baked goods.

NO is a regular, comes in almost daily. Always during morning rush.  His drink is customized and he always wants a bakery breakfast item.  Every time, EVERY TIME I help him and I get the words  “what name would you like on..” NO.  What?? Do you want your name to be NO, or NO you aren’t going to tell me your name?

And how do I respond to that? “Well, OK then, NO it is” ? Why ya gotta be a jerk? What’s the big deal? If you’re a regular than you know I’m new and just give me your damn name and stop  being an ass about it. What exactly do you think I’m going to do with that confidential information? I just want to make sure you get your order right, but when people keep walking away with your damn danish don’t bitch about it.

You seem like a nice man. I’m nice. It’s just coffee sir, have a wonderful day.