It’s the black speaker looking thing..

I’m new to working the drive thru window, but not to the drive thru process. I believe that in the year 2016 almost everyone knows how it works, but let me break it down.

You pull your car thru the lane that says DRIVE THRU, there might even be an arrow or sign. There might be a line so you may have to wait. You will come to a menu board, speaker box (box that has holes in it, might look like a speaker), STOP THERE.  You will hear a voice asking for your order. Tell them what you want to order. After you have given your order, the voice will direct you to drive to the window to pay and receive your order.

Pretty simple. Most people get the hang of it. However, there are some who just drive right by and order at the window. Ummmm, that’s not how this works. And to ask me “Oh, did I miss the the speaker?”, then you recognize the process and chose to ignore it.  Do you not like to talk into the box? Are you afraid of it? It makes no sense to me. And yes, I judge you a little because you don’t follow proper protocol. Do the rules apply to everyone BUT you?

I have been to many drive thru in my day. And there is nothing more frustrating than waiting in line forever for your order. This is part of the problem. Another part is some idiot who gets to the speaker and doesn’t know what they want and they ask 50 questions before ordering. Listen, if you wait in line, stare at the menu board and still don’t know what you want, get out of line. You obviously can’t handle the drive thru process. Also, it’s McDonald’s or Chik fil a, how do you not know what you want?

I believe that if people can’t handle a simple drive thru, they shouldn’t be allowed to pick our next president. Seriously, if that is too difficult, I cant trust these people to make good decisions. They obviously are confused about life, need some lessons and need to take a test to prove you’re smart enough to go through a drive thru with confidence.

I will smile and help you, but in my head I think you’re ridiculous. Get yourself together.


Her teachers must love you..

I got to work the early shift this morning. Which means that we were swamped with customers getting their morning caffeine before going to work. Also, did not know this, parents need to get coffee for their kiddos. The reason I don’t know this is because I never ever thought of that. It would never occur to me that my child would need a drink before school.

A woman comes in with her daughter. It’s busy, it’s morning, just trying to keep it moving. She has her daughter, little girl, 9 or 10, order what she wants. She wants a blended drink. Great, I ASSUME, wrongly and without asking, that she wants a creme based not coffee based.

The woman immediately got irate.. “I didn’t say creme based I said coffee based”. OK, I’ll fix that in our system, no problem. I wasn’t fast enough, because she got more and more belligerent about the coffee base. No, lady, I got it. You want your kid caffeinated But, oh no, she wasn’t done. The kid just wanted the blended drink, ordered it, walked away.  When I fixed the drink in our system, then the mom started again. She wants that with whipped cream BLENDED IN, she wants that BLENDED 3TIMES. She wants caramel drizzle in a CIRCLE AROUND THE TOP AND NOT IN THE MIDDLE.  What??

You’re kid is like 10. She just wanted a simple drink. You just added all that bullshit for no reason. Your daughter can’t tell the difference. WTF. You are just being a pain about her CAFFEINATE, SUGARY beverage. Now you’re sending her off to school all hopped up on crap. Her teachers must appreciate the fact you’re keeping your daughter hydrated in the morning.

Kids naturally have endless energy. Adults want to bottle that shit because we’re tired all the time.

I am not a perfect parent. And I want my daughter to grow up a strong, independent woman. But if I belittle a batista at a coffee shop, what exactly am I teaching her? That service workers are beneath us? That it’s fun to pull power trips on people, even if it is small and petty? If I heard my kid make up some bullshit nonsense of an order like that, she would get no coffee. No one is entitled to be ridiculous at other people’s expenses.

That lady stood at the end of the bard to make sure that the drink was made EXACTLY how she wanted. And reiterated it several times. We got it. You’re all powerful, we’re lowly servants. Thank you for your patronage.


So I got a job…

So I got a job at a local coffee shop about a month ago.  Just in time for the Pumpkin Spice Spasticity  of 2016, then comes Peppermint Mocha Madness. Holidays are coming and I get to make your coffee. I just haven’t learned yet.

A little bit about meeeee. Gonna warn ya straight off, I’m inappropriate and offensive at times.  I’m sarcastic about everything. Yet I always try to see funny in most situations.  What I find funny is not always normal.  I have a weird view on things.  Makes life a little more interesting.

I’m letting you know this first, because I understand people get offended easily and I want to avoid hate. However, I’m just doing this for me, I don’t expect anyone to actually read it, so I’m not overly concerned.

I have been married for almost 18 years and I have a beautiful teenage daughter.  Neither of whom drink coffee.  Which saves me a lot of money in coffee.

This little blog is about my daily interesting encounters with my customers. Some are wonderful, some are indifferent, some are obnoxious, it’s different every day. But surely everyone wants my thoughts on it, right?

Today Im going to tell you about NO.  I’m not sure that people understand that we put names on your drink so we can make it for YOU, not someone else who decides your drink sounds better and runs off with it, leaving you with no coffee and waiting for a coffee we already made and is gone.  Same with baked goods.

NO is a regular, comes in almost daily. Always during morning rush.  His drink is customized and he always wants a bakery breakfast item.  Every time, EVERY TIME I help him and I get the words  “what name would you like on..” NO.  What?? Do you want your name to be NO, or NO you aren’t going to tell me your name?

And how do I respond to that? “Well, OK then, NO it is” ? Why ya gotta be a jerk? What’s the big deal? If you’re a regular than you know I’m new and just give me your damn name and stop  being an ass about it. What exactly do you think I’m going to do with that confidential information? I just want to make sure you get your order right, but when people keep walking away with your damn danish don’t bitch about it.

You seem like a nice man. I’m nice. It’s just coffee sir, have a wonderful day.